The Lesbian and Gay Elderly Community

I thought I would add another topic to the board. In chapter 14 there was a very brief section about elderly persons and couples that are gay or lesbians. As we have talked about in class there are the same struggles for elderly couples as younger couples in the rights they posses when it comes to their partner. In a society that has a federal government that does not recognize same sex couples in terms of any legal rights, the struggles for the elderly become even greater. Just imagine living with your partner for 20+ years and they become sick, but you have no say on what happens to him or her. Or your partner dies and you are a gay couple the money and property could be taken without you having any rights to it. These are realities of gay and lesbian couples alike, but especially real for the elderly where sickness and death are a normal part of later years. Another interesting point that was made in this section, was there are retirement homes per se that are dedicated to those gay and lesbian singles, widows, and couples. In theory this may sound like a good idea, however, as the author said this kind of living situation may discriminate the elderly group by sanctioning them into only one area instead of allowing them to live among others in the community without having the label and stigma of living in an all gay community living complex. Lastly, I would like to point out that as many of us we don't like to think of the elderly having sex, or do many people even think that they do have sex. A friend of mine made the comment just the other day, "Are there old gay people?" She was so serious about the question that the ignorance of the question just made me laugh. As if gay and lesbians stop being gay after a certain age, if they don't have sex "anymore" they are gay either. Or maybe her thinking was more along the lines of since homosexuality has become more acceptable in our society in the last decade for sure, maybe there are only younger gay couples, I mean the only gay or lesbian people you see in the media are good looking young people. I just thought it so interesting that even in our ever more accepting generation there are still stereotypes and assumptions especially about gay elderly couples. Anyone have any thoughts about the topic or things that you have heard please share.

Financial and Legal rights of Step Parents and Parents

I know that this is the topic of the debate that we will be having on friday but without being placed on a side to argue by Raj, what are your thoughts? When children are involved and people remarry who should be considered the parents legally. If a biological parent is not present in a childs life other than say child support, who is qualified to make legal decisions regarding health care or school? I beilieve that the best thing for the child would be to have the parent figure that is around to make the basic daily decisions in their life make the major decisions for them. Should the laws be changed so that a step parent is automatically considered a legal guardian? Do you think that this would cause more problems than its worth via family arguments between biological parents and step parents? Should the laws consider the reason for divorce and the biological and step parents background and make the decision for the families with step parents regarding legal rights to the child? One last question is, do you think that if a step parent has all the legal rights of a biological parent, would it help the step parent feel closer to the child as a parent?

Gay Marriage Legal in Iowa

In Iowa same-sex couples began holding weddings on Monday with several same-sex couples exchanging vows on the steps of the Polk County Administrative building. Iowa is the third state to allow gay marriage, joining Massachusetts and Connecticut. There is also a Vermont law allowing gay marriage and that will take effect in September. Couples in Iowa on Monday were allowed to wed after getting a judge to waive the state's three-day waiting period. Polk County had received 82 marriage applications on Monday from same-sex couples. Many of the couples came from other states to marry.
With a large majority of Iowans opposing gay marriage this really surprised me that a law like this passed. Is our society starting to turn the other cheek and just say "whatever" to gay marriage? I think this is a huge breakthrough in the way heterosexuals treat the gay community. Especially in the Midwest.
Do you think that Minnesota will someday allow gay marriage? Are we heading in a new direction towards treating homosexuals with the same rights and respect as heterosexuals?

Divorce in Your Own Family

We have all been reading a chapter on ending marriage so I figured I would get a discussion going about divorce. The chapter gives many social, economical, and personal reasons and statistics about why and who gets divorced. I am torn on the topic, on one hand I do not believe that divorce should be so acceptable in our society, and easy to obtain without just cause. But on the complete other hand I believe in the right to choose to get out of a unhappy marriage no matter what the reasoning may be. I only contradict myself in the subject of divorce. I do not want to get divorced, when or if I get married. However, if I find myself in an abusive or unhappy marriage I want the ability to legally leave. My own parents got divorced when I was young. They both remarried divorced people with children. And they both got divorced to my step-parents again. I have seen first hand what divorce does to a family, my own family has been split so many times there are few relationships that survived. I just want to hear your opinion and maybe share your stories about divorce. What do you think the cause of divorce? Is is OK to live in a society so eager to get a divorce or should we go back to more "traditional" ways of thinking about marriage? Just some ideas to start with....

Elderly Abuse

For Albert Lea nursing home, an ordeal of shame, angst
It's been a rocky seven months at the facility in Albert Lea, where reports of abuse have led to soul-searching and new procedures.
By WARREN WOLFE, Star Tribune
Last update: December 11, 2008 - 2:31 PM

Nursing director Renae Peterson returned from a police interview, stepped into her boss' office at the Good Samaritan nursing home and "collapsed, sobbing like a 2-year-old.''
On that day in May, Good Samaritan administrator Mark Anderson knew "it wasn't just a wild story'' -- an incredible tale told by an aide as she was being fired for swearing in front of residents.
Now he had reason to believe what the aide alleged: that a group of women ages 17 and 18 had for months taunted residents who had dementia, abused them physically and sexually, made them scream during the night shift -- then laughed.
"I had thought: This has to be a lie or at least a huge exaggeration. This just couldn't be," Anderson recalled in an interview Thursday.
The police interviews in May were the start of a seven-month ordeal of shame, soul-searching and self-examination at the Albert Lea facility.
They already have triggered changes in the way aides are assigned and supervised at Good Samaritan -- part of the nonprofit Good Samaritan chain based in Sioux Falls, S.D. -- and at others across the state.
They have also started a debate among regulators, industry professionals and scholars about whether Minnesota needs stronger regulation of nursing home aides. More than half the states, for example, already set a minimum age of 18 for certified nursing assistants; Minnesota's minimum is 16. Some are asking whether Minnesota should increase the required training of such aides above the 75-hour federal minimum -- or take other steps to ensure frail, elderly patients are treated with dignity.
There's no question that some sort of abuse occurred. The only question is whether it reached the level of a crime.
The angst at "Good Sam" didn't end Monday, when the Freeborn County attorney filed criminal charges against two aides, Brianna Broitzman, now 19, and Ashton Larson, 18, and charged four others as juveniles.


1. What do you think possessed the abusers to do this since abuse is usually possessed by power?
2. How do you think abuse in Nursing Homes or Assisted livings can be further prevented?
3. If you were in the Nursing Director's position, what would you do?

"Roe v. Wade for Men"

I found this subject very interesting in chapter 9; there is a paragraph in the single fathers heading talking about a precedent-setting case called Roe v. Wade for men. Basically a man from Michigan is suing to establish his right to choose to become a father, saying he was tricked into fatherhood by his girlfriend. This is the first case of it's kind to test the constitutional right to choose not to be a father under the U.S constitution equal protection clause. The courts still rule on the child's best interest receiving financial support overrides the father's interests. They argue that if a man does not to be a father there are methods to take other than expecting the woman to take responsibility, like using a condom for example! What are your thoughts, does a man have the right to choose whether or not to become a father?

Prenuptial Agreements

A prenuptial agreement is a signed and notarized agreement made by a couple before marriage that concerns various financial issues such as the control and possession of property and other assets taken into the marriage and later obtained during the marriage either individually or jointly, as well as the couple’s future earnings, and how such property as assets will be distributed in the event of divorce or death.

If you're trying to decide whether or not to make a prenuptial agreement, you'll need to understand what this type of contract can, and cannot do for you.

Some disadvantages if you don’t make a prenuptial agreement, your state’s laws determine who owns the property that you acquire during your marriage, as well as what happens to that property at divorce or death. State law may even have a say in what happens to some of the property you owned before you were married. Some more disadvantages are there is never the perfect time and some state laws may protect you without a prenup. Some things prenups can’t deal with are custody of the children, visitation to the children, and child support.

Not only do the rich need prenups. Some reasons why you may get a prenup is because past separate property to children from prior marriages, clarifying financial rights, avoiding arguments in case of a divorce, and getting protection from debts. 5- 15 percent of people enter into a prenuptial agreement.


1. Would you ever consider a prenuptial agreement if you were wealthy or poor (in debt)?
2. Would you ask your spouse to sign the prenuptial agreement?
3. Do you feel prenuptial agreements are very important with our society?