Thursday, May 7, 2009
The Lesbian and Gay Elderly Community
I thought I would add another topic to the board. In chapter 14 there was a very brief section about elderly persons and couples that are gay or lesbians. As we have talked about in class there are the same struggles for elderly couples as younger couples in the rights they posses when it comes to their partner. In a society that has a federal government that does not recognize same sex couples in terms of any legal rights, the struggles for the elderly become even greater. Just imagine living with your partner for 20+ years and they become sick, but you have no say on what happens to him or her. Or your partner dies and you are a gay couple the money and property could be taken without you having any rights to it. These are realities of gay and lesbian couples alike, but especially real for the elderly where sickness and death are a normal part of later years. Another interesting point that was made in this section, was there are retirement homes per se that are dedicated to those gay and lesbian singles, widows, and couples. In theory this may sound like a good idea, however, as the author said this kind of living situation may discriminate the elderly group by sanctioning them into only one area instead of allowing them to live among others in the community without having the label and stigma of living in an all gay community living complex. Lastly, I would like to point out that as many of us we don't like to think of the elderly having sex, or do many people even think that they do have sex. A friend of mine made the comment just the other day, "Are there old gay people?" She was so serious about the question that the ignorance of the question just made me laugh. As if gay and lesbians stop being gay after a certain age, if they don't have sex "anymore" they are gay either. Or maybe her thinking was more along the lines of since homosexuality has become more acceptable in our society in the last decade for sure, maybe there are only younger gay couples, I mean the only gay or lesbian people you see in the media are good looking young people. I just thought it so interesting that even in our ever more accepting generation there are still stereotypes and assumptions especially about gay elderly couples. Anyone have any thoughts about the topic or things that you have heard please share.
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This is one of the reasons I believe in legalizing gay marriage. I think it is really wrong that elderly gay couples may end up in a situation where they cannot be with their life long partner at a time when they are sick or dying, or that they have no say over the care of that person. Gay people need to have legeal rights in these situations including financial rights. I feel that this should be addressed at the same time we are legalizing gay marriage. There should be some kind of common law provision for gay couples so that after they have lived together in a committed relationship for a number of year they can have something like a common law marriage. I don't know how I feel about nursing homes just for gay people. I assume that there are often not very many other gay people in exixting nursing homes and that at times gay people would like to be able to relate to other people who are gay.I do think that retirement communities should have the option of having sections or communities where gay people can live together, but always have the choice of living anywhere gay or straight to prevent discrimination. This is not different that having heterosexual elderly people together where they may still date and have sex with other people. Just because people have become older does not mean that they have lost their desires or their need for affection.However, these areas should be house with heterosexual peole and be totally voluntary.
ReplyDeleteSurprisingly enough our government is at least beginning to slip one nut out of the noose that is the religious rights views on homosexuality. The recent success of laws in Iowa and other states can only pave the way to more freedom and equality for gays. Situations were the love of your life would get nothing if you die, and quite possibly will not be able to see you die are disturbing to say the least, and should be reprimanded quickly in order to keep this country the "land of the free" rather than what some christians fear "the home of the gay"
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone's views on this issue so far. I find it very cruel to seperate two people who love and care for each other, especially if they have been life long partners, whether they are gay or straight should not be a deciding factor if they can stay with each other. In my opinion it should be nobody's decision but their own to decide how long two people stay in a commited relationship and continue seeing each other. I can't even imagine how heart renching it would be to see the love of your life become ill, or on their death bed and you have no control over what happens to them. It is sad to me that we still discriminate against others based on who they love, when really it is none of our business in the first place. Gay couples, elderly, or young, should be given all of the same rights as heterosexuals, no question.
ReplyDeleteI think it is sad that elderly same sex couples may have to deal with situations where they won't be able to decide what care their life long partner should get at a time when they are sick or dying, or have to deal with legal issues relating to property when their partner does die. I agree that there should be some kind of common law rule for gay couples, just like there is for strait couples, so that after they have lived together in a committed relationship for a number of year they can have legal rights to the other person.
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